This is a transcript of Episode 10 of the WAK Talk podcast. Listen on your favorite podcast platform by clicking here. Or watch on YouTube by clicking here.
We live in a culture where feelings are our guide, and happiness is the goal. People have always been influenced greatly by their feelings and emotions. I mean, how many decisions do you make based on your feelings? And not just big decisions. I’m talking about the small, every day, decisions that we give little thought to. We simply let our feelings and emotions take control. Like how you talk to your spouse or kids when you’re annoyed or tired. Or how you act when you’re feeling anxious and impatient in the grocery store. Or what about your thoughts when you are jealous of your friend or a neighbor.
We all struggle with our feelings and emotions in some way throughout the day. This is a topic that I’ve been really interested in for the last few years because it’s so relevant to today’s culture, and it’s an area that I want to grow in in my own life. I even devoted a chapter to it in my latest book A Hypnotizing World.
Sober-mindedness
So, the big question is: how do we keep our feelings in check? How do we stay away from emotional decisions? By becoming sober-minded. Sober-minded is the opposite of drunkenness. Joe Rigney in his book Leadership and Emotional Sabotage, defines sober-mindedness as “clarity of mind, stability of soul, and readiness to act.” He states:
“To be sober-minded is to be mature, to have your passions governed by what is true and good and beautiful through the habitual exercise of the trained emotions” (Rigney, 35). Our “passions were meant to be guided and governed by our minds which were meant to be guided and governed by God: God over mind, mind over passions” (Rigney, 33).
And here are a few more quotes from the book that really stand out, especially in light of today’s culture:
“Take responsibility for yourself, your emotions, and your actions…That’s what maturity fundamentally is—taking responsibility for oneself” (Rigney, 46).
“Know yourself. Grow in self-awareness. Pay attention to your passions—your reluctances, hesitations, anxieties, frustrations, moods, and snap reactions” (Rigney, 46-47).
“Thus, we must grow in our self-awareness and have the strength of mind to step out of the stream of passions and reactions in order to rightly examine them” (Rigney, 47).
“Calibrate your standards by the word of God…We must define sin the way the Bible does, and not the way that the world does” (Rigney, 48).
What if more people sought to be sober-minded?
Maybe we’d have less confusion and less irresponsibility. Maybe we’d have better men and women to vote for—men and women who truly want to serve the people in our nation and not a political agenda backed by evil people with lots of money. Maybe more people would be able to define what a man and woman are and not give into lies and delusion. Maybe universities would be a place that educates again, instead of a pit to indoctrinate and brainwash the next generations. Maybe the truth would mean something again.
When there’s more sober-mindedness, there’s less drunkenness and less acceptance of and celebration for drunkenness.
Sober-minded or Happy Feelings
The mindset of today’s culture is all about drunkenness. It’s all about doing whatever makes you feel happy. What’s wrong with this mindset? It’s fleeting and foolish. It’s only considering the moment, not the long-term. It’s not grounded in any truth. And it’s only focused on the self.
You see, when we are drunk on happy feelings, we don’t even know what happiness is. We think we know in the moment, but those feelings fade because what we thought was happiness was a false idea of happiness. A lot of our pursuits of happiness are actually just our pursuits of what other people claim to be their happiness. It’s jealousy. It’s keeping up with the Joneses. It’s our feelings and emotions unchecked, influencing our decisions.
Think about this for a moment. What things have you gone after in seeking happiness? Sex, money, power, alcohol, drugs, material things, self-help, or whatever else? These are all things you see other people pursuing and you think that’s what makes that person happy or successful. And you want the same thing. But where does it take you? It usually takes you down a path you never wanted to be on. It may destroy all the good things you already had in your life. Your relationships broken, finances in shambles, and you may find yourself at the bottom when you were seeking the top because that’s where people are happy—so you thought.
So, here’s a question for you. We’re going to play “would you rather”: Would you rather pursue your happy feelings or have clarity of mind, stability of soul, and a readiness to act?
I hope it’s a no-brainer for you. Having a clear mind, stable soul, and a readiness to act is a lasting endeavor. It has meaning and purpose. It not only benefits yourself, but the people around you. And it will bring lasting happiness.
When everyone is focused on getting their next fix of happy feelings, they aren’t thinking about their life 5 or 10 ten years from now and they certainly aren’t thinking about the people around them. This kind of mindset breeds immature and irresponsible people.
I’m not saying the pursuit of happiness or our feelings are all bad. But what I’m saying is bad is if happiness is all you’re after or your feelings are the only thing driving your decisions.
Grounded in the Word
So, how do we get there? How do we become sober-minded?
By being grounded in something greater and higher than yourself. By looking to a higher standard than yourself and the world. That higher standard is only found in the Word of God.
The Word of God tells us who God is and the purposes for which He made you, me, and the entire universe. When we get to know God, we begin to understand ourselves and the world around us. This then gives us the right perspective and the right thinking to live each day.
When we don’t have the right perspective or right thinking, our feelings have an easier time of taking control of how we think, speak, and act. And if we don’t have anything to test our feelings against, they will always get the best of us. We need to test our feelings against the truth, God’s Word.
How do we become grounded in God’s Word?
By reading it each day. And by making it the first source we go to for answers about ourselves and the world, and before making any big decisions in life. Where’s the first place you turn for answers or advice? The internet, family, friends, or teacher? Where’s their source of truth? What are they grounded on?
Being grounded in God’s Word means that it influences how we live each day—how we think, speak, and act. It’s ingrained into us to help us discern right from wrong. It helps us keep the perspective that God is God and we are not.
Bearing Fruit
How do we know if we are grounded? We will bear the right fruit. You either bear good fruit or bad fruit, depending on who or what you are listening to and allowing to influence you.
What does the Bible say? Galatians 5, verses 19 through 24 says: “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
The acts of the flesh—the fruit of the flesh—are obvious and predictable because men and women are innately sinful and selfish. Selfishness breeds everything that is in that list. But the fruit of the Spirit stand out more because they come from God, not from the world. They are light in the darkness. The world may define some of the fruit of the flesh similar to the fruit of the Spirit, but they are lies and false definitions—counterfeits. For example, the world says they’re all about love, but what is their love?
Does the world define love like 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4 through 7? “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” It doesn’t sound like anything the world considers love. The world’s definition of love means accept whatever everyone wants to be true. That sounds the opposite of God’s definition of love.
Going back to the list of the fruits of the Spirit, I think self-control is a big one today’s culture has no grasp of. How could we? We get everything instantly. There’s no delayed gratification. We don’t have to wait. Any experience we want, we can look it up online. Love and happy feelings are one and the same to the culture. Whatever makes us happy we should love and continue getting it. How is that impacting our feelings and our decision making?
We need to understand how to step outside our feelings and think clearly. We need to be able to ask ourselves hard questions and give answers based on truth. Pursuing sober-mindedness and being grounded in the Word of God is how we do this.
What’s the Point
The point is that we need something to test ourselves against. The goal is to get to a point where we can pause and look outside our feelings in order to see what is true or not.
A clear example is found in Matthew 4 when Jesus was tempted by Satan but didn’t sin. It says: “After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, ‘If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.’ Jesus answered, ‘It is written: “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”’ Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. ‘If you are the Son of God,’ he said, ‘throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”’ Jesus answered him, ‘It is also written: “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.”’ Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. ‘All this I will give you,’ he said, ‘if you will bow down and worship me.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Away from me, Satan! For it is written: “Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only”’” (Matthew 4:2-10).
Think about how you think, speak, and act when you’re really hungry. How do you think you would’ve responded to Satan? The only way to respond as Jesus did is with the help of the Holy Spirit and by being grounded in God’s Word and being sober-minded. If we’re only focused on getting drunk on happy feelings, then we would’ve taken every offer from Satan.
When we are sober-minded, not drunk on our feelings, we are able to step outside our feelings to test them against God’s Word—a higher standard. And we are able to see if any of our feelings have any bearing on the truth. We keep what is good and throw out the bad.
This is the harder path. It’s going to take work. It means allowing God’s Word to transform and renew your mind. Romans 12, verse 2 tells us: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” We have to allow God to transform us by renewing our minds, and then we will be able to understand God’s will. We need to be sober-minded to understand God’s will. That’s not easy because it’s a daily battle to fight off our selfishness and the temptations of the world. Only God can change us, but we also have to be willing to let Him. And when we allow this, then we will experience happiness because happiness is only found in God. It’s not in us or in this world. The happiness that the world seeks is a false reality. What it’s truly seeking is a life without God. That doesn’t exist.
Happiness is only found when we are sober-minded. When we have clarity of mind, stability of soul, and a readiness to act. When we are not bogged down by the chaos in the world, but have peace from being grounded in the truth of God even while we are living in the chaos of the world. When we know who we are and why we are here because we believe and live by God’s Word and what He tells us. When we discern what is right and what is wrong because we have the Word of God as our guide and we act based on His Word which is greater than ourselves and the world—greater than our feelings. That is happiness.
Sources:
Rigney, Joe. Leadership and Emotional Sabotage. Moscow, Idaho: Canon Press, 2024.
