This is a transcript of Episode 5 on the WAK Talk podcast. To listen, click here.
Do you wake up each day knowing you need to do something, but you fight to ignore it or try to avoid it? It’s easy to give into our comforts. It’s easy to get sucked into habits and routines. It’s easy to become lazy and simply go through the motions.
That’s what I’ve struggled with off and on for the last couple years. Like most of you, life can seem like a roller coaster. I’ve had my ups and downs. I get lazy and fall into the same old rut. And it’s not always that I can’t get out, but it’s more often that I don’t want to get out. I feel comfortable doing the same thing each day. It may make my life boring, but it’s safe because it’s predictable and makes me feel in control.
But this year God hit me hard over the head. While I’ve been thinking thoughts about how if only my kids would be better or if only my wife would change, God was trying to get my attention and point out what I need to change. I was so focused on trying to stay in my comfort zone and doing the same old thing, all while complaining about feeling stuck, that I wasn’t listening to God telling me what I needed to do. It’s a lot easier to look at what others need to change. It’s a lot harder to look in the mirror and ask yourself what you need to change.
Thankfully, God is always at work and never stops trying to get our attention. And He has my family in a faithful and biblically grounded church where the pastor brings the truth every Sunday. He doesn’t pull any punches. He lets God speak what needs to be heard through him. I’m challenged every week. But I don’t always take the next step and enter into that challenge. With God’s help, I want to change that. I need to choose to do hard things. But it won’t happen automatically.
Maybe you’re going through the same thing. Maybe you’re feeling stuck, but you don’t know what to do to get out. My question to you is: what hard things are you trying to avoid? Is it growing your relationship with God by reading your Bible and praying more? Is it forgiving someone? Is it talking to someone about your faith? Is it giving up some things to be with your spouse and kids? The first step is being honest with yourself and recognizing that maybe you are trying to avoid something. God can use hard things to shape and mold us into who He wants us to be. We simply need to listen and obey.
Do Hard Things
After recognizing that you need to make some changes, the next step is doing hard things. Make a plan of action. The best way I know how to do hard things is by intentionally putting myself in a position to learn and grow or to face my fears and discomforts. Ask God to give you strength and courage to pursue the hard thing you’ve been trying to avoid. God will be with you every step of the way.
Here’s an example from my own life: For the last couple years, I’ve been avoiding people and also been avoiding growing as a husband and father. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to grow and change in these areas. It was that I was comfortable where I was at. But God knocked me over the head with the latest sermon series on marriage that my church is working through. And He also reminded me of several books I’ve read that talked about being a leader and about growing in public speaking. One book talked about the pursuit of excellence and specifically about public speaking. Another explained the need for sober-minded leaders, leaders that have clarity of mind, stability of soul, and a readiness to act. And another author shared how he used every opportunity God gave him to speak the truth about Jesus. These books described the type of man and leader I’d like to become. So, I made a plan of action. But I started with baby steps.
I intentionally sought out opportunities to get out of my comfort zone. I asked to lead discussion more in my small group and I signed up to be on the greeting team at my church. These may seem small, but they are ways to get me talking with other people. They are hard things for me, personally. Even starting this podcast is a way for me to grow in speaking. The point I’m trying to make is that when we know what we’re avoiding or we know what we need to change, sometimes we just have to run at it. We have to jump in and face whatever it is. Do hard things. Don’t give into your comfort. Don’t be lazy. Don’t refuse to grow and change. God has more in store for you, but He’s waiting for you to stop holding back. He wants you to give Him your all. That includes your worries, fears, comforts, and whatever is keeping you from becoming who He made you to be.
The hardest part is starting. I believe deep down everyone wants to become a better version of themselves, but they either don’t make any effort to start or they don’t know how to start. As followers of Jesus, we aren’t called to stay where we’re at. Jesus died on the cross while we were still in our sin as Romans 5:8 tells us. But He didn’t do this so we can keep going on the same path. He didn’t die so we could simply accept we’re sinners and give up trying to be a better spouse, parent, friend, neighbor, or employee. He died to set us free so that our hearts and minds could be freed from the bondage of our sins, and we could experience new life with Jesus. A life where Jesus is leading, not our sinful and selfish desires. Following Jesus leads to growth and change. We won’t become exactly like Jesus, but we follow His example to become more like Him each day. We are works in progress. But we have to allow Jesus to lead, speak to, and guide us.
That also means we need a community of people who are also pursuing Jesus and learning what it means to have Jesus lead their life instead of the self. Maybe the way you need to start is by asking someone close to you to give you honest feedback. If you’re married, that person should be your spouse. My wife and I have had some hard conversations lately. She told me how she feels and shared some things that I need to work on. It’s hard to hear those things. And I have options for what to do with it, but only one option leads to growth and change. I can choose to fire back at my wife and say what I think about her and play the victim card. I can choose to ignore what she said and be a dead-beat dirt bag. Or I can listen, admit that I do need to work on these areas, and then make a plan to work towards growth and change.
This looks different for everyone. Everyone’s hard thing will be different. But there’s some steps that can help in everyone’s journey. Here are five steps to help you:
- Ask yourself hard questions and give honest answers. Do some self-reflection. Ask God to reveal things that you need to work on. Write out areas of your life you need to grow in and change. Look at your different responsibilities and how you take them on. What do you need to work on as a follower of Jesus, a spouse, parent, employee, employer, a steward of all that God’s given you, a friend, and any other area you think of?
- Go to God in prayer. Ask Him for direction and guidance. And listen. Think about why God has you where you are right now. What is He teaching you in each moment?
- Ask for feedback from the people closest to you. Listen. Listening is hard. Hearing that you’re wrong or that you need to work on things can be hard. The truth hurts. But we need to hear it.
- Make a plan to act. Don’t be all talk. It’s one thing to know what you need to do and another to actually do it. Be a man or woman of integrity and actually take action on what you need to work on. And be accountable to people. Check in with your spouse, a friend, or mentor. Ask them if they see improvement or if you need to adjust what you’re doing.
- Be in it for the long game. Doing hard things isn’t going to be easy and you won’t get instant results. Trust that God is working and will take you where He wants you.
The key is to cultivate a life-long learner attitude and a willingness to pursue hard things. Have a desire to grow and change. Allow the Holy Spirit to convict you of the areas you need to change in and be willing to put in the work. Just like there’s always something to learn, there is always an area in our life we can work on and grow in.
It’s Not About Us
What always amazes me is how God meets us where we are. He doesn’t require us to reach a certain mark. He’s consistently, intentionally, and lovingly drawing us to Himself, even when we’re in sin. Even when we’re ignoring Him and trying to go our own way. He wants a relationship with us. And being in relationship with God leads us to love the things God loves. That means we are constantly renewing and transforming our hearts and minds. We are allowing God to shape us into who He created us to be. And that’s hard because we daily need to deny ourselves. We take every thought captive and make it obedient to Jesus. In order to do that, we need to know and follow Jesus. Matthew 16, verses 24 through 26 says: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?’”
You see, this life isn’t about us building our own life and boasting about how we did this all on our own. Because that would be a lie. It’s about humbling ourselves to the realization that we need Jesus. When we’re focused on Jesus, following His example, we clearly see the areas where we fall short. We see the things we need to work on in our relationship with God, in our marriage, our parenting, our friendships, our job, and all areas of our life. And this is because when we choose Jesus over the self, we can’t help allowing Him to change how we’ve been living. With Jesus, our thoughts, our words, and our actions are being transformed to reflect Him to the world.
So, to do hard things may look different for everyone, but they all have a common goal. It’s to grow our own understanding of what it means to have Jesus as Lord over our life, but also to be a light and reflect the image of God to those around us. We are called to stand out from the world. That means our life should look different from most. We should be willing to do the hard things, instead of seeking the easy route. We work through issues with love, patience, kindness, and self-control. We forgive. We speak the truth. We don’t give up. We serve. We are generous. We love our enemies. We face our fears. And we do all these things because we follow Jesus, not the self.
We need Jesus to lead and guide us. We need Jesus to strengthen us. We need Jesus to give us courage. We need Jesus to grow our faith and trust in Him. It’s all about Jesus!
To end this episode, I challenge you to stop trying to avoid hard things. Pursue them and ask God to help you see from His perspective and to understand His plans and purposes. Trust Him. He will give you the strength and courage you need.
So, take time for:
Self-reflection – Be willing to take an honest look at yourself.
Listen – Don’t react. Don’t get offended. Just listen to what God and the people closest to you have to say about you.
Do Hard Things – Make a plan to act. Get out of your comfort zone. Be challenged.
2 Responses
This is so great, Weston. Something I needed right now. Thank you.
Glad you found it helpful! Thank you for reading!